UPside DOWN!!!

My blog rotten for so long, because my life rotten for so long. Things in life becomes so messy and uneasy. Though my life goes up and down but my spiritual life, walk with God is only went down and down. Backslided gau gau.. Everything changed. passion fades .. all messed up. Finally understand what young adult struggling though i might only facing the tip of a ice berg. Used to judge young adult so much and now been judged lolz. God is fair.

I don't really blame my job. Yes. I really struggling at the very beginning when facing such a challenging job which require nearly perfection in things i do because single minor mistake can caused a huge impact. And high expectation kills too. I make tons of mistake and been sound gau gau.. i thought of quit don't know how many thousand times but i don't want to leave as a failure, i know this is a molding season where God dealing with my weakness. When kena sound that time, tears almost come out... . some more sound beside a pretty girl lolz .. really embarrasing but the thing is .. it tear down all my confident... i lost it all overnight. I became like tikus . . . hopeless despair.... every morning motor to work i will pray like no body business just hope i won't make any mistake. At first it went better ... but .. time i spend with God is lesser and lesser. Then begin to depend on my own. rather than depend on God.. there are few things .. make me very upsad... lost helmet, lost hp ... financial problem and emotional struggle.. make me very frustrated .. and slowly fading away .. from God ...

One sunday SSZ, before i put offering in the beg i pray God help me in such situation and i gave with all my heart then after that i found that my motor two Rim also spoiled cause bang one big hole .. . it cost me another RM80 for two second hand rim .. i begin to question God WHY!!!!! Why every time in my trouble and i trusted in You You never fail me but why now ? ... Being very stupid . blaming God ... i hardly blame God ... whether God bless me or not i normally get along .. got then Hallelujah but no miracle also nothing .. but this time .. really frustrated .. But really very stupid lolz .. i blinded myself with the situation but never thought of God helps comes in different way. That day is sunday ... 7pm only bring my motor to fix, normally i don't think got shop will operate untill that hour... if God didn't provide a way or a shop... i wouldn't be able to go to work next day also . Bang hole is my careless, not God's fault.

Once started work. Time become very very little. Time spend with family even lesser. Been burnt out by both work and ministry. Really ber tahan. I know myself not super man. I know i should focus on one of my ministry. But i still can't make up my mind, perhaps maybe not persevere ask God enough. I want to reserve time for family, not only support by money. Once started work i realize the responsibility as a son. I can't put all ministry family and work in priority, I JUST CAN'T!!!! As more money comes greater responsibility. Anyway my earning is only enough to support my self and family, people just tend of have misunderstanding that working mean rich lolz, i'm far before that. I getting very tired, more and more tired. Both physical and emotional. Sometime i really want some time for myself. I couldn't always adjust and push myself to the limit for all last minutes pop up thing. I stop joining friend go movie on week day unless is early movie, else will be really tired. Really miss you guys. I want to restore solitude in my life, restore the intimacy, the passion and the joy of salvation.

I miss sister Chai Hong so much. Every time i in despair what i need to do is just talk to her, and i just get the revelation... i knew, i always know is from God. I really can't walk this journey by myself... wondering whether should go to her CG or not hehe .. Is time to go deeper. Cannot be drag by the devil anymore !!

Morning Devotion Scene ... How great is Thou art, Lord?

Beside the peace and the presence of God doing devotion every morning 6am in Alam Damai park with bunch of good brother who love God hehe .. It make me realise how great is Thou art. ..

MAFIA TRILOGY!!

For last week 21th, 22th and 23rd March mafia game hehe

First mafia held in Ann Pang house (thanks ya pang pang)
First we have super syok sendiri self proclaim model syok sendiri+ing before the mafia start lolz ...
This is the mafia lucky draw wakaka ..
End of first mafia, KAM YEE receive Jesus hehe Hallelujah!!

Second Mafia 22th march in Melia house (Thanks melia)



Lolz take a look at shan shan lolz
After games we got some sharing of Jesus and our testimony
Wow see the way melia preach ...
Opps where is the beast ?
Bunch of Pretty mafia .... .wooh ..
add in a cute mafia lolz...
Melia house .. fountain of the living water ... cool ..
Pre dawn "maditationi"
Predawn worship at 6am wakaak in church in easter morning


Cute Dog ? is in melia house ngek ngek ngek
Mafia 3 for secondary youth lolz (melia house)

I guess kah mun on the left is too gan cheong d lolz
Lolz what a nice post!! (melia sister)
See how ganas they play untill ...
Benny won the lucky draw and commited his life to the Lord :P


Oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!what you girls were doing !!!





Ouch!!! (put me down you two evil!!)
(.....................................................)
this photo is TAKEN BY DENIECE CHONG!!!!! Eww..... use my holy camera snap such unclean things .. ueek ....
Lolz Sow fun looks so cute ..

Summary:
Out of 3 mafia, as i know Kam Yee, Benny and Brian Accept Christ. Praise the Lord hehe

6AM MORNING DEVOTION IN ALAM DAMAI!!!!

WOW .. its crazy and yet is SO REAL wakaka .. few of the crazy guy follow Pastor Noah go Alam Damai do devotion in the morning 6am wakaka
With a Pastor Crazy for God .. leads a bunch of genuine guy crazy for God hehee .. As the shepherd leads the sheeps he lead us into devotion for 20 minutes where i curi snap few photo lolz then come back to share what we learn. Wow i being minister by the word of God quite clear lolz mayb because as bible mention as two or more gather together God is there hehe so nice
and everyone who read this blog please hold us accountable that tomorrow which is friday 6am we are going back to do like wise wakaka .. Syoknya .. Those who read this if stirring want to join pls come, transport







Remark:
1) Thins that i learned is we cannot live based on opportunity. Must live our life based on Priority. Cause opportunity comes and goes we can't pursue everything else we end up like chicken without head (ugly) or i prefer bird without legs keep flying here and there till dead because of weary. lolz
And normally when we set our priority right and obey it, opportunity will comes of cause fundamental is not setting the priority but to OBEY and follow our priority as pastor shared. I find very truth cause my life is messed up by messy priority. That's why Albert is everywhere but not success in anywhere wakaka but i guess not too late to set priority right. And one things i neglect a lot is my family.. haiz like pastor lily shared to me yesterday, no point busy with God's ministry and left out family and they being condemn or frustrated. God wants our priority and surely family is one of it.

2)So after knowing the truth, now is application time ngek ngek most challenging mement come hehe. First of All, Intimacy of God is my first priority in my priority list wakaka. I used to thought Intimacy and ministry is different thing but i'm so wrong. As today message spoke to me, i cannot minister without intimacy with God, i like lamp without oil want to shine for Jesus in the darkness and it will not work. we can have intimacy without ministry but we can't minister without intimacy with God.

I'm glad my mentor Sister Chai Hong once said this to me, the most beautiful in relationship with God is .. when His will became my will, and my will became His will.. together we are One. Just like Jesus with heavenly Father. The oneness. That intimacy that bring two into one heart, one mind one spirit. It is so beautiful. Ever since i heard that from her (i knew is from God) that's became my heart desire. but i lack of practise hehe so now implement back ngek ngek ngek. How do we know God's will? IS through the intimacy with God, when we are so one, His desire is our desire, infact our desire is actually what He desire ... how can we not know His will then ? Of cause this takes journey to achieve but is a good aim and i think that's God's desire, His heart to have such intimacy with His children lolz ..

Erm another things is thank you pastor Noah who always there to disciple and teach us to observe and do according what Jesus commanded us to do hehe. One thing i regretted the most in youth is i didn't invest in relationship with pastor Noah.. Ouch.. I always feel the wall between us and i know is devil's lies. Cause the devil knows once our relationship strengthen then my life will have a person who will hold me accountable and check on me and nurture my walk with God. Is definitely a turning point in my walk with my Father. So application is ask pastor out for yam cha in this week hehe latest next week lolz. This journal will sounds very long winded cause is meant for journaling and not to impress people wakaka. But if by God grace any part of it stirred your heart and want to be part of discipleship hehe .. please do so or do like wise journaling your journey of faith in blog as testimony and witness of God wakaka.

Ok... is time to go to Sunway Lagoon wakakaka syok nya . enjoy my life before i enter working world and persecution ngek ngek ngek ..

EFCM Conference + World vision Aids Exhibitions

Cool~~ Three days EFCM conference with Pastor Edmund Chan was really a enriching Journey. Tought us the foundation and a lot of truth. This follow photo is the last day of the conference we have the opportunity to have Mc D breakfast with pastor Edmund in Damansara.



This is the sunday EFCM worship service.. Wonderful


After the end of the conference some of us went mid valley for the World vision Aids exhibitions. Is really touching when we go through the exhibitions, they set up the place as in the place those people living but too bad we are not allowed to take photo .. .sobz sobz .. Lolz and from the photo you can guess who we are going with already. With Elroy's "trade mark " his red sweater and J0shua new hair styles lolz, so easy recognize them in the crowd.
And of course my two brothers Leonard and John "Quek" opps is John Kuek

Even the Bird in the cage SING

Cool... i wonder why i blogging in such a time SWEAT!!! Tomorrow need to submit an assignment and one presentation which non of it i finish lolz. Sweat through the whole sem, exhausted spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally anything except TEMPORARY. Assignment got problems, relationship got problems, even scolded by father last two days after so long he didn't scold me but is my fault but .. ouch.. Those word are repeating like the song (Its too late to apologies) stuck in my mind =.="

But thank God !!! Even in such a time like this, He comforted me as always. Today sermon one section talks bout persecutions and so on. EVEN BIRDS IN THE CAGE SING!! Bird? isn't it refer to me ? lolz .. some called me bert bert some called me bird bird and some even more creative called me superbert. lolz .. It hit me hard. Even birds in the cage sing. I suppose to be the LIGHT in the darkness!! NOT cry in the darkness lolz .. I shall be like the bird, even lock in the cage but i will still sing when i stuck in my situation no matter how bad it is. Things gone worst this years in every area of my life, Quarrel here there and everywhere lolz Seems i have lost my patient for quite some times. Sorry to those been offended by me or WILL be offend by me soon wakaka..
ok i Shall continue SINGING else tomorrow EVEN bird in the cage will SINK!!!! Gantoi lolz ..

searching my heart ...

In the midnight 2:40am ... listening to canon song playing in my blog. Half way rushing thesis, out of sudden just want to pause and just listen to the canon song .. burden gone.. lots of memory good and bad , happy and sad picture by picture like a slide show bit by bit flooding my mind.. so sentimental .. just don't feel like doing anything ... and let the wonder melody minister to me ..is so good to stop a while in busy life and just listen music with heart ... so nice .. so peaceful .. the last time that i having such sentimental moment should be many years back ... in orchestra camp .. so much of sweet memory .. friends .. musics . all my klang freinds are just so friendly . . already 3:07am have to wake up at 6:30am but i just wanna remain this mood.. searching back the inner me that missing so long ... lost in busy life .. live life routinely ..used to life my life just to bless people but now caught in buziness slowly slowly bit by bit without noticing .. though character is building bit by bit overtime but .. my most previous heart seems lost some where . a heart that used to concern and care a lot .. a heart that's seek opportunity to bless people without string attach, a heart of patient and understanding ... i missed the time when i'm very introvet that i listen and understand people around me ..now not even half of it since i talk more ... i listen less .. sensing less of friends emotions .. i wonder whether its worth ... i doubt i learned so much head knowledge but bit by bit fading from genuin heart to hardened heart .. loving became not that loving .. became offensive .. wow ... i must wake up .. must not polluted by any other thing in the world .... Lord pls resurrect my heart .. melt it Lord ... let my heart bless people around me .. and who lost their heart too ... and bless the nation that Your name mayb glorify ...

Final sem presentation, last few times d ..

Excited and yet ... feel sad that toward the end of our study life. 3 years in UTAR with bunch of good friend and group member that always give me heart attack and also physical attack.. why know why, maybe their chinese mentality too strong believe that the more you scold and beat, it show the more you love and care that person, then i guess they really care and love me lolz .. but i still prefer they show it in a gentle way. lolz .. wow talk bout this presentation, i reach UTAR at 7.30 wow half hour earlier which is miracle i will reach so earlier to take the LCD .. laptop to make sure everything done right haha .. normallly i choi kui dou soh .. haha .. then we present .. and our lecturer comment is not bad so we happy also then we took this photo. Hon Fei, Wendy, Michelle, Jennifer and Me. Well is not easy for a group of girls to follow a male leader and believe me it is never easier for a guy to lead a girls group .. lolz .. Through curse and swears we still make it so far haha and those time are memorable.. priceless .. Thanks pal for tolerate with me ..